top of page
Writer's pictureSamuel Jacobs

The Kanye Westboro Baptist Church. Singer creates his own brand of Christianity.

Dominique Barber - Special Correspondant to The Pray.

Kanye has created his own religion and is now taking being an asshole to Biblical levels.

In he recent years, Kanye West has become more religious and recently released an album called Jesus is King. But all his praise of Jesus has come to full fruition, he has just formed the Kanye Westboro Baptist Church.


As if Kanye wasn't enough of an asshole, he recently created his own church so now he has the 'Religious Freedom' to be an asshole to anyone who he feels is beneath him.


Before he could just say what he wants and the new reported it because he was a celebrity and has been banging a Kardashian. Now he has upped his asshole game to an unsurpassed amount of douchery by crying religious persecution when he decides to be an asshole to anyone.

I originally took a page from the original Westboro Baptist Church, and blatantly offended people for my own purposes. Now with a religion on my side, I can now sue you heathen." said Kanye in a press conference. "So fuck y'all."

Cost for membership

You too can be come a member of the Kanye Westboro Baptist Church, but the membership dues are larger than the normal tithing that regular churches charge. "You wanna be close to Kanye Jesus, it's gonna cost." Anywhere upwards of 25-30% of your earnings, before taxes. "Because, fuck that shit." Not to mention that you need to wear special prayer robes that come from Kanye's own line of clothing. The prayer garment, which needs to be changed six times a day, can only be purchased from his online store at $250 a piece. "You need to be clean when you pray to me, mother fucker."


Being a member of the Kanye Westboro Baptist Church doesn't come without its perks. On your birthday, you get a card from the church. You have access to a member's only area on the website and a vial of Kanye's body sweat.


"One of the hardest parts about creating a religion," remarked Kanye, "is separating yourself from the cult that are the Kardashians."

Comments


TOP POSTS
bottom of page